Under the Macroscope

So life lurches on as always.

There is inevitably an ongoing list of things that need attention here, which always includes at least one item thrown at us by the Powers That Be, and that always come to the attention fairly close to a strict deadline for its completion imposed by those same Powers.

This is, of course, in direct contrast to the catatonic approach adopted by said Powers in the event that we should be bold enough to require some action on their part.

Following my long break in the UK, and then when I emerged from my recent  brief incarceration in that place that will henceforth remain nameless, I discovered that an onus had fallen upon us all to complete a form for the bank. We have been informed that it has to be completed and returned to the bank before 30 April this year, or accounts would be frozen.

The form is entitled  formulario personas físicas. This translates as “form for physical people” … so, as I’m a self-confessed slob, does that mean that I’m exempt?

Apparently not.

I have tried to discover the purpose of the thing, without much success.  Rumour had it that the banks all needed a digital signature on file for each customer, but I’m not buying that – I’ve had the same account for twelve years and they’ve always had a copy of my signature in their system.

The questions? Standard stuff that always bemuses me. Like, “Dear Mrs Fletcher, at (full address given), please enter your full name and address on this form. Also your identification number, nationality and telephone number, which we’ve known and used throughout our relationship with you”.

But then it becomes slightly more intrusive. What monetary activity do you carry out? If the funds in your account aren’t yours, please tell us to whom they belong. Are you politically active? Is anyone related to you or associated with you politically active? If so, give names. What’s your annual income? Have you benefitted from an inheritance or donation? Do you have property to rent? Tell us about any other income you have.

Now, call me suspicious. In fact, call me downright sceptical, if you like. Do these questions really sound like they are designed to elicit information required by a bank, or do they smack more of a lazy tax office sweep to you?

Big Brother is alive and thriving. Just a hint, though, guys. If I was involved in money-laundering or other nefarious activity, do you really think I’d be a good little sheep and write it all down for you on your stupid little form?

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